So I know they are not fun but… Difficult conversations are necessary to maintain healthy relationships, clear up misunderstandings, share hurt feelings and keep the devil from getting a divisive foothold. Most people shrink back from conflict in fear, often at the cost of losing the relationship. Over the years I have made many mistakes choosing not to share or sharing unlovingly. (Did I just make up a word?) But… I think I am finally getting the hang of it. When you open the door to communicate in love, you allow Jesus to come in and clear away the clutter and confusion threatening your relationship. You are in effect shutting down the hamster wheel of thoughts and false assumptions that plays havoc with your emotions, increases your stress level and keeps you up at night.
So how do you start? Think of it as building a heart to heart bridge. Simply ask, “are we good?” Or try “can you help me understand…”, or “when you ___________, I feel __________ . Never assume you know how the other person feels or what they heard (or didn’t hear) or experienced. Just seek a better understanding. Remember love believes the best of others not the worst. Love never fails so if you can’t agree, just agree to disagree. Sometimes our own stuff prevents us from getting on the same page. That should not be allowed to be a relationship killer. We can choose to love and not always agree. Try to keep short accounts by handling things quickly and not letting them boil over to long. Lastly, in as much as it is up to you live at peace with everyone. If you are not able to resolve the issue, or the other person is not receptive to a conversation, pray and let the Lord be the keeper of the issue. He knows your heart and theirs. Keep loving and in doing so you will keep growing.
Trying to learn and live love never fails… CJ